Post by miguna on Jan 6, 2006 20:26:48 GMT 3
PRESIDENT KIBAKI IS A MASTER POLITICAL COMEDIAN
By MIGUNA MIGUNA* - © 5 January 2006
President Kibaki is the best subject or creation any member of the media could ever have asked of God. Kenyan political pundits and cartoonists are lucky to have a head of state so excruciatingly funny that there is no act – big of small – that he participates in without injecting a heavy dose of dramatic comedy to. And he does it in such a low-key and unstressed manner that one gets the feeling not just that he thoroughly enjoys the act tremendously, but also that his performance comes out naturally as if it is his second nature.
But he also has a wonderful cast of theatrical performers that seem to synchronize all his dramatic moves as if they were literally cut from the same cloth. These performers range from Dr. Mutua at bungled (mis)communications; Koigi wa Wamwere at politburo propaganda; Kiraitu Murungi at the shakers and rockers of Kenya; Kalimbe Ndile at the animal husbandry squad; to Martha Karua at the steel band ragamuffins. Some inner core cast members have been dancing with Kibaki for more than forty years. These are John Michuki, Njenga Karume, Simon Nyachae and David Mwiraria. This is a truly distinguished group of political performers.
God must have deliberately chosen this man Kibaki as our leader to bring comic relief into our tormented lives and homesteads for a very good reason. With the raging famine, inter and intra political wars, constitutional debacles and ethnic rivalries, Kibaki’s dark comedy is the only redeeming intervention we are thankful for from the Narc government.
So, rather than worry our tired heads off about the stalled constitution review, the raging famine, the escalating insecurity, the cascading corruption and the spiraling poverty amidst the majority of our citizens, it is much easier to simply curl up in our little corners and wallop with laughter at the president’s serial political jokes.
Many people may be forgiven for believing that had Kibaki not been so funny, lots of things in our country could have long broken down irreparably. The fact that Kenya remains intact after the heart-wrenching and disastrous Narc performance so far may be attributed to this man’s unique rendition of laid back comedy.
When it comes to high political drama and comedy, Kibaki beats all the leaders of this country; dead or alive. The man’s sense of homour is as fertile as it is completely tormenting. In many ways, Kibaki takes the medal from other lowly clowns like Kalembe Ndile and Koigi wa Wamwere.
Where Kalimbe and Koigi tend to be strident, Kibaki’s low key presentation comes with executive pomp, style and unrehearsed disarming originality. Political commentators, journalists and cartoonists should be grateful to Kibaki for creatively and constantly presenting them with long yarns of ideas, issues and acrobatic scenes that they can weave in any manner and direction.
From his original but unexpected blurts of pumbavu and mavi ya kuku missiles projected at his political opponents during the recently concluded referendum intermission to the latest cancellation of the well advertised meeting with the Orange Democratic Movement (ODM) – Kibaki has demonstrated his unequaled ability to raise our collective hopes to astronomical heights and suddenly, without warning or reason, drop them to the very bottom, while crooning in our ears that he will fly with us to the moon.
For the most part, Kenyans seem either to have believed him or they have found his political comedy so intoxicating that doing anything physically or mentally challenging becomes impossible. We choose to sleep-walk in stupor with him to oblivion rather than snap back into sobriety and confronting the situation. That explains why some Kenyans have remarkably kept saying that despite the many promises he has broken, president Kibaki should finish his term before facing the electorate again. These people have clearly chosen the soothing comedic croons to unpredictable adventures.
President Kibaki may be the only person capable of drinking political milk and whistling at the same time. It is a feat to marvel at.
Kibaki reportedly sought out his most acknowledged and formidable political rival, Raila Odinga, at an international parliamentary gathering the other day, posed for a priceless photo-op beside a scenic five-star hotel pool, unexpectedly summoned his cabinet secretary and chief of the civil service to arrange a highly coveted political tête-à-tête with his opponents at the ODM the following day in the ravenous glare of both local and international media, only to cancel the meeting the following day, only two hours before it was supposed to begin.
The scuttling of the high stake dinner at State House at the last minute was done in the most intriguing manner. Had Kibaki wanted to look politically polished or tutored, he could have cancelled the dinner in a more polite and astute manner. A sudden cancellation after the arrival of the ODM contingent at State House would have been apt. Another photo shoot either on the steps or Lawn of State House could have generated better political ambiguities and dividends. Both sides could have rushed to defend the president without losing face. Pesky journalists could have been elbowed out or their pictures confiscated.
Kenyans would not have known the real truth. But the comedy would have been filtered. So, Kibaki seems to have chosen open drama.
Press reports indicate that Raila has stated that he received a call from Muthaura, Kibaki’s cabinet secretary whom he had beckoned to on the day that the tête-à-tête was arranged. According to these reports, Muthaura informed Raila that the ODM dinner at State House could not proceed because “the president was too busy and his diary was full.”
Appropriately after receiving this message, Raila dutifully communicated it to his ODM team that had reportedly rushed home from their meeting in the morning to don their best tailored suits, Armani shoes, designer shirts and ties in readiness for the coveted meeting with Kibaki.
However, no sooner had the ODM team addressed a hurriedly convened press conference and announced to the country that the meeting with Kibaki had been cancelled by State House and repeated the reasons given by Muthaura than Kenyans got treated to the marvelous choreographed political dance from Kibaki. First, a written statement was issued denying that the president had actually agreed to and arranged the meeting as “suggested by some politicians.” No names; just “some politicians.” Kibaki was claiming the high ground he had lost in the tsunami attack.
The statement - not Kibaki - then promised that “the government would initiate consultations with “a variety of leaders” over the constitution review starting next week.” But the drama was not over yet.
A few minutes after the first statement was issued from State House, a second written statement was reportedly received by the newsrooms canceling, withdrawing and perhaps even “denying” some important aspects of the first written statement. The second statement interestingly omitted to mention that bit about “consultations staring next week.” The head of state was canceling another “meeting” he had promised, in writing, to have with “a variety of leaders starting next week.”
Here, the master performer was implying that not just Raila, but also the journalists that reported about the meeting, had been less than truthful when they mentioned that Kibaki had agreed to meet the ODM on 5 January 2006 at 4 PM. Either that or he was announcing that he couldn’t remember agreeing to meet Raila and his ODM. Alternatively, the comedian was suggesting that what transpired between him and Raila at the Safari Park Hotel on 4 January 2006 in the presence of a beaming Speaker of the National Assembly, Ole Kaparo, media and other leaders, was simply a mere act in a longer dramatic play that is still in progress, of which play this latest cancellation is but just another act.
Were these “cancellations” due to genuine changes of mind, strategic political moves, lapses in judgment, pathological forgetfulness or dramatic renditions or a sign that Kibaki is not really in charge?
Was this Kibaki’s handiwork or that of some overrated spin doctors trying to dress-up this drama in another tunic? Time will tell.
Anyway, the impeccably attired men of the ODM had no choice but to return to their respective homes without the meeting or the dinner. The master comedian had outperformed them this time. Maybe this was his retribution for the November 21st referendum humble pie they had forcefully fed him.
Now, let the intricate political dance begin. In the next coming weeks – and maybe even months (God forbid) – Kenyans will undoubtedly be hearing all kinds of contradictory proclamations from our group of dramatic political performers and their theatre of the absurd.
______________________________________________________________________
*The writer is a Barrister & Solicitor in Toronto, Canada
By MIGUNA MIGUNA* - © 5 January 2006
President Kibaki is the best subject or creation any member of the media could ever have asked of God. Kenyan political pundits and cartoonists are lucky to have a head of state so excruciatingly funny that there is no act – big of small – that he participates in without injecting a heavy dose of dramatic comedy to. And he does it in such a low-key and unstressed manner that one gets the feeling not just that he thoroughly enjoys the act tremendously, but also that his performance comes out naturally as if it is his second nature.
But he also has a wonderful cast of theatrical performers that seem to synchronize all his dramatic moves as if they were literally cut from the same cloth. These performers range from Dr. Mutua at bungled (mis)communications; Koigi wa Wamwere at politburo propaganda; Kiraitu Murungi at the shakers and rockers of Kenya; Kalimbe Ndile at the animal husbandry squad; to Martha Karua at the steel band ragamuffins. Some inner core cast members have been dancing with Kibaki for more than forty years. These are John Michuki, Njenga Karume, Simon Nyachae and David Mwiraria. This is a truly distinguished group of political performers.
God must have deliberately chosen this man Kibaki as our leader to bring comic relief into our tormented lives and homesteads for a very good reason. With the raging famine, inter and intra political wars, constitutional debacles and ethnic rivalries, Kibaki’s dark comedy is the only redeeming intervention we are thankful for from the Narc government.
So, rather than worry our tired heads off about the stalled constitution review, the raging famine, the escalating insecurity, the cascading corruption and the spiraling poverty amidst the majority of our citizens, it is much easier to simply curl up in our little corners and wallop with laughter at the president’s serial political jokes.
Many people may be forgiven for believing that had Kibaki not been so funny, lots of things in our country could have long broken down irreparably. The fact that Kenya remains intact after the heart-wrenching and disastrous Narc performance so far may be attributed to this man’s unique rendition of laid back comedy.
When it comes to high political drama and comedy, Kibaki beats all the leaders of this country; dead or alive. The man’s sense of homour is as fertile as it is completely tormenting. In many ways, Kibaki takes the medal from other lowly clowns like Kalembe Ndile and Koigi wa Wamwere.
Where Kalimbe and Koigi tend to be strident, Kibaki’s low key presentation comes with executive pomp, style and unrehearsed disarming originality. Political commentators, journalists and cartoonists should be grateful to Kibaki for creatively and constantly presenting them with long yarns of ideas, issues and acrobatic scenes that they can weave in any manner and direction.
From his original but unexpected blurts of pumbavu and mavi ya kuku missiles projected at his political opponents during the recently concluded referendum intermission to the latest cancellation of the well advertised meeting with the Orange Democratic Movement (ODM) – Kibaki has demonstrated his unequaled ability to raise our collective hopes to astronomical heights and suddenly, without warning or reason, drop them to the very bottom, while crooning in our ears that he will fly with us to the moon.
For the most part, Kenyans seem either to have believed him or they have found his political comedy so intoxicating that doing anything physically or mentally challenging becomes impossible. We choose to sleep-walk in stupor with him to oblivion rather than snap back into sobriety and confronting the situation. That explains why some Kenyans have remarkably kept saying that despite the many promises he has broken, president Kibaki should finish his term before facing the electorate again. These people have clearly chosen the soothing comedic croons to unpredictable adventures.
President Kibaki may be the only person capable of drinking political milk and whistling at the same time. It is a feat to marvel at.
Kibaki reportedly sought out his most acknowledged and formidable political rival, Raila Odinga, at an international parliamentary gathering the other day, posed for a priceless photo-op beside a scenic five-star hotel pool, unexpectedly summoned his cabinet secretary and chief of the civil service to arrange a highly coveted political tête-à-tête with his opponents at the ODM the following day in the ravenous glare of both local and international media, only to cancel the meeting the following day, only two hours before it was supposed to begin.
The scuttling of the high stake dinner at State House at the last minute was done in the most intriguing manner. Had Kibaki wanted to look politically polished or tutored, he could have cancelled the dinner in a more polite and astute manner. A sudden cancellation after the arrival of the ODM contingent at State House would have been apt. Another photo shoot either on the steps or Lawn of State House could have generated better political ambiguities and dividends. Both sides could have rushed to defend the president without losing face. Pesky journalists could have been elbowed out or their pictures confiscated.
Kenyans would not have known the real truth. But the comedy would have been filtered. So, Kibaki seems to have chosen open drama.
Press reports indicate that Raila has stated that he received a call from Muthaura, Kibaki’s cabinet secretary whom he had beckoned to on the day that the tête-à-tête was arranged. According to these reports, Muthaura informed Raila that the ODM dinner at State House could not proceed because “the president was too busy and his diary was full.”
Appropriately after receiving this message, Raila dutifully communicated it to his ODM team that had reportedly rushed home from their meeting in the morning to don their best tailored suits, Armani shoes, designer shirts and ties in readiness for the coveted meeting with Kibaki.
However, no sooner had the ODM team addressed a hurriedly convened press conference and announced to the country that the meeting with Kibaki had been cancelled by State House and repeated the reasons given by Muthaura than Kenyans got treated to the marvelous choreographed political dance from Kibaki. First, a written statement was issued denying that the president had actually agreed to and arranged the meeting as “suggested by some politicians.” No names; just “some politicians.” Kibaki was claiming the high ground he had lost in the tsunami attack.
The statement - not Kibaki - then promised that “the government would initiate consultations with “a variety of leaders” over the constitution review starting next week.” But the drama was not over yet.
A few minutes after the first statement was issued from State House, a second written statement was reportedly received by the newsrooms canceling, withdrawing and perhaps even “denying” some important aspects of the first written statement. The second statement interestingly omitted to mention that bit about “consultations staring next week.” The head of state was canceling another “meeting” he had promised, in writing, to have with “a variety of leaders starting next week.”
Here, the master performer was implying that not just Raila, but also the journalists that reported about the meeting, had been less than truthful when they mentioned that Kibaki had agreed to meet the ODM on 5 January 2006 at 4 PM. Either that or he was announcing that he couldn’t remember agreeing to meet Raila and his ODM. Alternatively, the comedian was suggesting that what transpired between him and Raila at the Safari Park Hotel on 4 January 2006 in the presence of a beaming Speaker of the National Assembly, Ole Kaparo, media and other leaders, was simply a mere act in a longer dramatic play that is still in progress, of which play this latest cancellation is but just another act.
Were these “cancellations” due to genuine changes of mind, strategic political moves, lapses in judgment, pathological forgetfulness or dramatic renditions or a sign that Kibaki is not really in charge?
Was this Kibaki’s handiwork or that of some overrated spin doctors trying to dress-up this drama in another tunic? Time will tell.
Anyway, the impeccably attired men of the ODM had no choice but to return to their respective homes without the meeting or the dinner. The master comedian had outperformed them this time. Maybe this was his retribution for the November 21st referendum humble pie they had forcefully fed him.
Now, let the intricate political dance begin. In the next coming weeks – and maybe even months (God forbid) – Kenyans will undoubtedly be hearing all kinds of contradictory proclamations from our group of dramatic political performers and their theatre of the absurd.
______________________________________________________________________
*The writer is a Barrister & Solicitor in Toronto, Canada
